The fact of the matter is that I am on my way to Carson City to see my father, of whom I have not seen in twelve years. What prompted me to make such a bold move? Well, my father is could be dying. Things are pretty bad as he is in ICU and is under constant supervision by nurses and staff who are trying to ward off impending kidney failure. It’s time like this when I feel like I must put matters in perspective, but I am none the less frustrated as I had plans to initiate friendly relations with my father this year. I am about to be married. My future wife deserves to see my father, mother, and the rest of my family no matter how dire the situation. Yet here I am. My hands are shaking and my mind wonders as I drift into an abyss of images and sounds from a past I have shelved for most of my adult life.
I wish to blog about my experience for others who are also putting off talking to their significant others, of whom they may not be on great terms with. Don’t put it off. I have lived with the decision of not knowing or contacting my father my entire life. He has been a cheat, con man, theif, gambler, and an alcoholic. I felt just in my thought process. But in these last 48 hours I have been overcome with emotions I just can not turn my back from. I need to see him for my peace of mind.
…and so I wait to board the airplane, hoping I can restore the dignity of a man I don’t even know.
