Yesterday was rough. Saw my father for the first time in twelve years. Poor guy couldn’t stop babbling about pain and wanting to go home. If he could only see himself, though. The severity of his situation would be enough for anyone to want to stay in bed. However, the fine staff at Carson Tahoe are confronted with two problems. A.). My fathers diagnosed condition of pancreatitis and B.) withdrawal. The two together make for a situation where my father needs the help, but at the same time can not as he is wanting to get out of his bed every hour or so wanting to go home. He will also fight the nurses to make this happen. All this transpired not five minutes of me walking in.
Yesterday I had also talked to my grandmother for the first time in twenty or so years. I found out that she has cancer and is dying. That followed up with a call from my aunt, of whom I had not talked to in years. It’s strange making contact with my family like this. Time has transpired to the point where the other side of my family had just become numb to it all. I don’t blame them. With the amount of family turmoil in my family, I suppose you have to pick and choose what burdens you wish to shoulder while trying to live a normal life.
Allergies in the area is what did me in. I got pretty sick around four. Could only see my father for about ten minutes when I new I had to get some form of medicine as I was not going to make it through the night. It was probably nerves more so than anything. Nerves and pollen, I might add.
This morning my father squeezed my hand, calling out my name.
